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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25851973">Every Breath, Every Heartbeat</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/conceptstage/pseuds/conceptstage'>conceptstage</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Single Chapter Critical Role [143]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/F, Scars, Tumblr Prompt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 06:01:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>715</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25851973</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/conceptstage/pseuds/conceptstage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kiss 39 prompt: Beauyasha, reflecting on how Beau got the scar across her eye and the Skingorger wound across her chest. Beau kissing tears from Yasha's face.</p><p>Prompted on Tumblr</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Beauregard Lionett/Yasha</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Single Chapter Critical Role [143]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1436668</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>140</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Every Breath, Every Heartbeat</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Beau had never been insecure about her body. She remembered times in her life when people tried to make her insecure, like when her mother told her that boys wouldn’t like a muscular girl, to which she responded by snort-laughing water out her nose. But, even under the thumbs of her parents, her looks was never one of the things she was insecure about.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But still, with Yasha staring at her naked chest with wide eyes full of discomfort, she felt the beginnings of insecurity start to bite at her heels. She hesitated, wondering if she should drop the shirt or put it back on and leave. Yasha had initiated this, there must be something about her that Yasha found attractive, right?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uhhh…” she started, twisting her shirt in her fists. “We could do this with my shirt on if you wanted. Or not do it at all, I guess, if you changed your mind. Should I… Should I go?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That seemed to shock Yasha out of wherever she had disappeared to and she jumped to her feet. “No! I just… I mean…” She paused and looked back at Beau’s chest. Beau followed her eyes but there was nothing especially interesting there besides the obvious. She just looked back at Yasha’s face and raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to continue. “Beau…” She sighed and licked her lips thoughtfully. “You are beautiful, you are… wow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wow. Wow was good. Then why did Yasha look like she was trying not to cry. “... But?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha shook her head. “No ‘but’, just…” She started to reach forward but stopped herself. She laughed a little but there wasn’t any joy in it. “I forgot, I guess. About… that.” Beau realized what she meant then, the large gray-brown scar right between her breasts, starting at the top of her sternum and getting thick and jagged near the middle. “All of that time feels like… Like a dream. Or a nightmare, you know. It doesn’t feel real. But there it is, proof that it was all real, proof of what I did.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beau sighed and reached up, running her fingers over the scar. “Yash, whatever you did under Obann’s control, I don’t blame you for it. None of us blame you for it.” Yasha opened her mouth to say something but Beau shook her head. “No, you know what, fuck that. It wasn’t your fault. Here, give me your hand.” She held out her hand towards Yasha’s outstretched arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Beau-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yash. Please.” She just let her hand hand in the air and stared at Yasha’s face since she was avoiding her eyes. Finally, Yasha frowned but reached forward, sliding her palm into Beau’s. Beau moved her hand towards her chest and pressed the tips of her fingers against the rough edges of the scar. “Alright, you feel it?” She waited for Yasha to nod. “This is because of Obann. No one else. This…” She shifted Yasha’s hand up, pressing Yasha’s palm flat against her chest, right over her heart. “You feel that? It’s about to beat out of my fucking chest.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha licked her lips and focused on the places where her skin touched Beau’s even though it felt like holding fire in her hand. “Yeah.” She could feel Beau’s heart beating against her palm and she smiled reluctantly. “Yeah, I feel it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s because of you. Look, I’m not good at talking about this shit but...” Yasha glanced up to meet her eyes briefly before looking pointedly back down at her feet. Beau gently brushed her thumb against the back of Yasha’s hand, still holding it against her chest. “If you feel like you can’t look at me, can’t look at the scar, then just tell me to leave. But don’t do it because you think it’s what I want or you think it'll be better for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha sighed and finally looked up to meet her eyes. Whatever she saw on Beau’s face must have finally broken the dam because tears started streaming down her cheeks. “I don’t know if I will ever believe that it wasn’t my fault. But I believe in you. Will you stay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beau nodded and leaned forward, gently kissing a tear from the corner of her mouth. “As long as you want me to.”</span>
</p>
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